Joyce's Journey

A LOT GOING ON !!!!!!

2011-07-09T12:20:00.003-05:00

Hi everyone!

What event do I start with? I guess chronological!

Ronnie's daddy, Wallace, turned 80 this year so we decided we would throw him a party. Nothing extravagant but all the kids, grandkids and great-grandkids were invited. Oweeda graciously offered her house for the party. It lasted from 3 pm - 5 pm and almost all came! Great turnout. Of course, Starla and family couldn't come since they are living in Pennsylvania now! It was good to get all together again- it's been too long. I think he enjoyed the day.
That evening-April 17- something way more exciting happened! Our 9 year old grandaughter, Grace, decided she needed to be baptized. She wanted it done that night and in our pool and she wanted her paw-paw to do it!!!! Wow! So , even though the water is a little chilly in April - Ronnie and Grace got in our pool at about 7:00 P.M. and she made the most important decision in her life. How many chill bumps could I possibly have? It was almost unreal for this to happen at my house to my grandaughter by my husband. Could life get any more special???
Time went on with days as usual - then something else very special happened. On June 7th - Starla, Aaron, Riley, Dakota, and Toby came to visit from Penn. They flew in and rented a vehicle so they could do some visiting with others and go out to Andrews to see Aaron's family. Aaron stayed 9 days then flew back so he could go to work. Starla and the boys stayed until July 5th. When they first arrived - Toby (who is 19 months old) wasn't sure who Ronnie and I were! But it didn't take long for him to warm up to us and it seemed like he had never been away. The 2 older boys slept in the trundle bed in the playroom and Toby and Starla slept in the office. We set up his pack n play and put a twin blow up mattress in there for Starla. Not ideal , but seemed to work okay. We said that Toby learned how to go to sleep best at night with Paw-Paw playing solitare on the computer right next to his bed! He would stand up and pat Paw-Paw on the shouldar every once in a while then he would finally lay down and go to sleep. How sweet!!!! The visit was great and the weather was hot so the boys usually swam in the morning - ate lunch-had rest time- then out to the pool again around 4:00. All went back to Pennsylvania and lot tanner than when they came! It was very busy while they were here but sure is quiet since they have gone! Miss them a lot!!!
While they were here I was able to attend my 40th high school reunion! Wow, can't believe it's been that long. Some of the people I recognized right off - some of them I looked at their nametag and still didn't put the face with the name! Most people told me that they recognized me and I hadn't changed that much! Anyhow, had a great, great time visiting and catching up but realized after I left that I didn't know much about any of them . Not enough time to really visit with everyone and ask the questions I wanted to ask. It did bring back great memories of the special people of my school years! Going to school in the same town all my life does create bonds that last forever! If you are one of my school buddies reading this - I really did love seeing you again and hope somehow we can keep in touch.!
One more bit of good news. Had my 3 month Ct scan done and the oncologist visit. So exciting - no sign of cancer!!!!! Yay!!! Next month it will have been 3 years since my surgery and the start of my chemo and radiation. I'll never forget that but I will also never forget feeling blessed by God. I don't go for another scan for 6 months. That's the longest I've gone since the diagnosis - so pray that I don't start fretting about month number 5!!!

I did go for a routine mamogram in April and 2 suspicious lumps were found that I had removed. Both were not malignant although one was the kind that needed to be removed because it could have turned into a malignancy! I believe in getting the routine scans that we need to have!!!
Well, summer is hot and we are leaving in a week to go camping at the lake for 2 weeks. Pray for a little coolness to come upon us and even a little rain would be fine!!!!
Thanks for keeping up with me and especially all the prayers! Love you all!!!

Where did all the time go?

2011-02-04T07:24:00.002-06:00

Hello again to all my friends! I decided to update a little since 6 months have gone by since my last update.
I am still feeling good and healthy. Had a ct scan done the first part of December and no signs of that ugly cancer still! I am blessed! Dr. Redrow has put me on a 4 month checkup schedule now , so I go and get new ct scan sometime in March. He said after that we may start a 6 month schedule! My eyes got big but he said not to worry that I am doing great. There is still that little nagging in the back of my head about a little cancer cell just sitting around somewhere in my body waiting for the right opportunity! I must not fret! I did end up getting the flu even after having had my flu shot in October! Dakota tested positive for flu the last week of December(he also had had a flu shot in October!) so I must have caught it from him! Some kind of strain that the flu shot didn't prevent! I felt pretty bad for a couple of weeks!
A big thing has happened in my every day routine though! Starla and Aaron have moved to Pennsylvania! Do you know how far that is from Azle, Tx? 24 hour drive straight through! They pulled out of Azle on Friday morning, Jan. 21st with Aaron driving the rental truck with all their belongings in it and towing the Expedition behind it which was also loaded! Starla was following behind him in the pickup with 2 of the boys with her! One of the boys(most of the time it was Riley) rode in the truck with Aaron. The whole drive was done in below freezing temps! They went about 8 hours a day and stopped for the night. The third day they went until they were about 1 1/2 hours away from the house they had rented. They spent the night in a hotel and got up the next morning to finish the last leg of their journey and the big truck would not start! Tooooo cold! They had to get a tow truck to tow it to a warm building to let the diesel warm up enough to get it to start again. So by 3:00 that afternoon they finally got to finish the last leg of their journey - in 9 degree weather and snow! That's part of the adventure , right? Well, they have been there for 10 days or so and are trying to get settled in. Snow almost every day!
I made flight reservations to go up and help her get things in order and was supposed to fly out on the 1st but the cold icy weather hit us and I have postponed my flight until Sunday the 6th. Maybe the winter weather advisory will be over then! Can't wait to see them all! Ronnie isn't going this time - he may want to wait till we can drive there!
Amy and Brad are busy, busy as usual. Lily turned 6 on the 26th and was at some friends house that evening. She was having fun on the trampoline and somehow landed wrong and twisted her ankle. The next morning she couldn't put any weight on it - so I went with Amy to Cook's to have it x-rayed. Couldn't see for sure if it was fractured so they put her in a boot (that was too big for her skinny little leg!)and on crutches. So Thursday and Friday last week she got to spend with Mimi and Paw-Paw instead of having to get around on crutches at school! Yesterday , she went in for more x-rays and sure enough - she did fracture some bone in her ankle! So , into a walking boot that actually fits her for a few weeks! Poor Lily!
Brandon and Michelle are doing great and have taken a few days off to ski in Red River! Hope they are staying warm and having a fun, relaxing trip!
I still feel blessed by a wonderful God and hopefully the people that I come into contact with can see his glory through me!

I AM A 2 YEAR CANCER SURVIVOR!!!!!!!!!!

2010-08-07T16:14:00.003-05:00

Can you believe that it has been 2 years? I remember Aug.8th, 2008 very vividly in my mind(well parts of it anyhow) I remember my friends faces as they watched me being wheeled down the hallway to surgery. Ginger's eyes were big! Of course, I especially remember my kids and precious Ronnie walking beside my bed until they took me through those doors to surgery. I was anxious! It seemed like the next 6 months took about 3 years to take place! I thought I would never make it till January and chemo would be finished. But look at me now - 2 years have gone by! Wow!

I went to see Dr. Redrow , the oncologist, a couple of weeks ago and he said that the ct scan that was done about a month ago showed no new signs of cancer! What a relief. I was so anxious as I waited for him to come into the room. I guess he could tell because the first words he said to me after hello was "the scans all looked good". He said it was normal for me to be apprehensive and afraid that something was growing and I didn't know it. He said that maybe by this time next year I wouldn't be so anxious. I hope so!

I will go back and have another ct done the last part of Nov. and see him the first week of Dec. I think he has me on a 4 month schedule now.

We have had a lot of out of town time since May. We went with Jerry and Ginger to the hill country and stayed in a condo outside of Bandera. Kenneth and Gwen got to go with us for 4 days. We all wished they could have stayed longer. I did my first kayaking adventure down the river there! I wasn't so sure I would be okay but the fastness of the river was perfect! I only dumped over once but I said that I rolled in the 20 foot deep water for about 20 minutes!(It was actually only 4 feet and maybe 30 seconds!) I didn't have my life jacket on but after that happened I strapped that sucker on! Anyhow, it was so fun!

On the way home we decided to do the touristy tour of the LBJ Ranch. We really enjoyed it and especially like the working farm that the State Parks have at the site. It was very informative. If you haven't tried it, you might.

Then, we have been camping in our 5th wheel travel trailer that we bought from Ronnie's brother-Steve. We love it! It has a slide out on it which gives us so much more room than our old camper! We have been one weekend to Benbrook with the Foxes,Gearys,Rollmanns and Nortons. It is always fun to go with lots of people - never boring!

Then we went a couple of different weekends with Amy and Brad and their newly acquired trailer and Starla and Aaron with the camper they got last year. Brandon and Michelle usually drive out to wherever we are and join us for the day.

Then we have been gone the last 2 WEEKS at Ray Roberts camping with Donna and Steve,Amy and Brad and Starla and Aaron. Fun,fun, fun and a lot of sun,sun,sun! I came back a lot browner than when I went.

Gracie decided that she was going to learn to ride her bike without training wheels while we were camping! And she did! Way to go , Grace!

Lily became a better and faster bike rider but was not able to loose the training wheels yet! She is finally going to get to start Kindergarten in a few weeks. She has been waiting a long time to be 5 so she can go to real school instead of day care!

In case you haven't heard, Amy is the new principal of Eagle Heights Elementary!!!!Way to go,Amy! My mother would be so proud - that is the school that she worked at for 25 years! I used to take Amy there when she was little and eat lunch with Mother in the lunch room!

Starla is busy, busy taking care of her 3 boys. She has also lost a lot of weight doing Slim for Life.Way to be dedicated, Starla!

The grandkids are growing up! Toby is 9 months old and so cute! He, like the rest of them, loves Pawpaw sooooo much! He cut his first tooth yesterday. He'll be walking before we know it.

Dakota is almost 5. He has decided within the last week that he doesn't need his floaties on in the pool anymore! He does pretty good , but it scares me that he will get out in the middle and not be able to make it to the edge, but he is not worried one bit!

Riley will be 7 next week. He has been swimming like a fish for a couple of years. I am a little jealous! He'll be going into the 2nd grade this year.

I pray that this post finds everyone feeling as blessed as I do!

Never forget that God does know each and every one of us personally and loves us more than we can even imagine!

Blessings to you all!

HAPPY NEW YEAR

2010-01-07T16:58:00.002-06:00

Wow, the last 4 months have flown by!
I have been feeling good and enjoying life. God has truly blessed me in so many ways. I pray that every day I look around to see blessings and not anxieties.
I went to my 3 month check-up with Dr. Redrow and he said that I am doing great. He didn't order a scan before I went in for my appt. so I told him that he was making me a little anxious! I told him that the fear of the unknown going on in my body was a little scary to me. He said that was completely normal considering all that I have gone through in the last 2 or 3 years. He sent me in for a Ct scan of the chest and the reports came in this week. All is clear and nothing abnormal! Yea, Yea! If only now I could figure out how to not be anxious! Isn't there a scripture about that?
Talk about blessings! Starla had a sweet baby boy on Nov. 7. He weighed 7 lb. 8 oz. and is just perfect. His name is Toby Miles Norton. Amy and I like to say that we delivered him since Dr. Howell didn't make it to her room in time - but actually we helped Tonya the nurse in every way possible! Tonya had a cast on her left arm where she had broken her wrist the week before. She told Starla to keep from pushing when she felt she needed to so Dr. Howell could be there for delivery, but Toby could not wait! Starla did and EXCELLENT job of natural childbirth and Amy, Aaron and I were intent on making everything easier for Tonya to do her job.
Christmas was great this year. We always do our gift-opening on Christmas Eve. The kids got there around 2:00 - right when the snow was starting to come down pretty heavy. It was sooo beautiful. The kids got to go out and play in the snow and get all wet and cold. What fun!
Thank you again all of you who have kept up with me and my journey and encouraged me on. I'll never forget it.

A Good Report!

2009-09-09T07:00:00.005-05:00

Yes, I went to Dr. Redrow yesterday for my 3-month check-up and he said that my scans didn't show anything new! That is so awesome. God has gotten me through this last year and blessed me with healthy days ahead.
I was a little apprehensive about going to see the doctor. You never know if that ct scan is going to show something that shouldn't be there. I know from personal experience that there can be those horrible cancer cells growing in your body and you never know it! I told him that I was a little concerned that something might be growing and the wait is kinda hard from the time you get the scan until you see the doctor. He said that is not an unusual feeling to have.
I go back for another 3 month scan and check-up in December.
We had a wonderful weekend getaway to Hico for Labor Day weekend. We took our trailer and the Geary's took theirs. The Foxes stayed in the house. We got up there on Friday and Donald cooked us delicious ribs and Shara fixed the veggies. Wonderful!
We all were blessed by our children and grandchildren coming up and spending all day Saturday with us! Kevin and Holly and their 4 precious ones; Aaron and Starla and their 2 precious boys;Brandon and Michelle brought Randy, Jessica and cute little Macy; Josh and Mandy(and Teddy);Craig and Shana. And I of course can't leave out that Tuffi was with us all weekend also! I was bummed out though that Brad, Amy, Gracie and Lily were not able to come because Brad had to work! That would have made it perfect!
Some were fishing in the tank off and on all day and others were playing washers and others were exploring and some( the women) were mostly sitting on the porch and enjoying the beautiful weather and visiting with each other. It can't get much better that that!!!
Well, we are on the 2 month countdown now until our newest family member arrives! I am getting excited to get to cuddle and kiss a new grandchild! Everything so far is going great with the pregnancy and due date is still Nov. 14th. They are still working on a name for him.
Keep my friend, Charlotte, in your prayers as she has started her chemo for breast cancer! Thanks and I love you all,
Joyce

Vacation Pictures

2009-08-17T20:16:00.008-05:00

An Anniversary Not Fun to Remember!

2009-08-04T13:29:00.006-05:00

That's right - 1 year ago today I found out that I had cancer. Not a fun memory! The 2 months before this day, I had been going through test after test and playing the waiting game to see the Dr. to find out the results. I knew that the results of the PET scan were not going to be good when the surgeon's office called and moved my appointment up 2 weeks. I still remember that day so clearly. Dr. Brooks had called and said she wanted to go with Ronnie and I to see the Dr. I didn't think that was odd because we had become personal friends and I thought she wanted to meet Dr. Macias. I remember the nurse calling us back to the dr. office and him walking in and showing us the findings on the computer screen. The pet scan shows my body ( the inside, not the outside) slowly turning around showing all the organs and any abnormalities. He stopped it and showed me the area on my left lung that was a hot spot. This means cancerous. His words were "I'm so sorry , but you have adenocarcinoma." I looked at him then over at Kathy Brooks and Ronnie, trying to process what he had just told me. I said "what exactly does that mean?" His answer was the dreaded words "lung cancer"!

But you know what? God was with me in that room that day and I have felt His presence every day since. I don't know how people with serious conditions can get through those dark times if they don't feel God. I did have many dark times during the next 6 months as I went through the chemo and then radiation. But even then , I never doubted that God was feeling my anguish. I just hope now that I don't forget where I've been and what I've been through. I know it must have been to help someone else through the darkness. I pray that my eyes are open all around me so I will recognize my opportunity.

Now, for some news on the wonderful side! We did our family vacation in July. All 12 of us went to Gulf Shores, Alabama. We stayed in a wonderful townhouse. It was a 3 story structure across the street from the white sand beach. The bottom floor was actually the garage/parking/storage area because all the houses are on stilts. The whole 2nd floor was rented to another family. We had the 3rd floor to ourselves. There was actually a whole 5 bedroom/6 bathroom house on each floor. We had a deck on the front side that overlooked the ocean and on the back side was another deck that looked out over the swimming pool and a couple of blocks over was a lagoon. Everyone got along great and Ronnie was able to sit on the deck about 3/4 of the time with his binoculars always around his neck!

The guys went bay fishing one day and golfing one day. The girls and Brandon went for a massage one day. Ahhhhhh. Anyway, the family vacation was great and now we have to figure out where to go on our next trip!

Thanks for keeping up with me. I still covet your prayers. I go for my next scan sometime within the next month.

The Circle of Life

2009-06-23T09:37:00.003-05:00

I know it has been over a month since my last update. That means that my life has been pretty uneventful ( some might use the term boring). I have learned this week that our lives are made up of highs and lows - happiness and sadness - and I have to learn how to handle and express both.
Happiness first. Starla is pregnant. We have actually known this for a couple of months, but yesterday was the big sonogram day! She is 19 weeks, the perfect time to make sure the baby is growing on schedule and to find out the sex of the baby. She already has 2 boys , so what do you think this one growing in her belly is? It's a boy! She and Aaron are excited about this - so is Riley. They all 3 were hoping for boy. I'm not sure which I wanted her to have, but I think I would have liked her to experience girl, but boy it is. Most important, though, was that all the measurements were right on target and all the organs and bones were connected like they should be. Sonograms are so fun to watch and see the miracle of a baby being formed and functioning inside a womb!
Another good thing was our vacation to South Padre with Ginger and Jerry. We had a wonderful relaxing time. The guys played golf a couple of days and Ginger and I did as little as possible! We rented a dune buggy one day and drove all along the beach. We of course picked up shells to bring home. We also did a lot of walking along the beach. It is so refreshing and relaxing. They are great vacation buddies.
Sorry, but now some sad. My longtime friend , Cynthia Adams, passed away last Friday of a heart attack. (I called her Bim ) She was 56 years old. We have been friends since our freshman year of high school- maybe longer. We hung out together throughout high school - having a great time together - sharing our boyfriend woes and all the other traumas that comes with the teenage years. We kept up with each other through marriage and childbirth and the years watching our kids growing up.
She was a kind, caring and loving friend and I'll miss her a lot. She was also a very Godly person and it showed in her everyday life. She felt blessed even in her darkest times. During the last year, she was one of my greatest prayer warriors! I knew that she wasn't feeling her best, but she didn't complain. She lost her husband, Keith, to cancer about 2 days after I lost Wendell to cancer. She and Sandy were going through the same things and the same emotions at the same time. I pray that I was an encourager and as good of friend to her during that time as she has been to me this last year.
Goodbye my good friend - I'll never forget you!

LIFE IS GOOD!

2009-05-06T22:37:00.004-05:00

Hi everyone!
I know that it has been a while since my last update, please forgive me. I am just trying to figure out what I'm supposed to be doing!
Well, Relay was great fun. We all had a great night. We raised about $1,800.00 that night in donations and selling our wares. That brings our total so far to about $3,000.00 for Joyce's Journey 1 and 2. We all wore t-shirts that matched and said Joyce's Journey on the front and were a beautiful teal color. I ended up ordering 54 shirts, so there was a lot of that color going around the track. We sold necklaces, crosses, lemonade, do it yourself mosaics and outdoor tea lights. The night was so windy that we could not keep our canopy up!
It was great walking the survivor lap with my father-in-law, Wallace, who had been diagnosed with lung cancer the year before I was diagnosed. Thank goodness his cancer was not as far along as mine was so he did not have to have the horrible chemo and radiation!
My ex-sister-in-law, Sherry, also walked the survivor lap with me. She has been completely free of her leukemia since 2005 when she underwent a bone marrow transplant!
A constant encourager in my life, Chelsa, also walked with me as she is a skin cancer survivor. It was an awesome time!
The next lap walked was supposed to be the survivor and their caregiver walking together. Ronnie walked with me and Wallace's wife, Pat, walked with him. That was very touching to me also. Of course, Lily and Riley couldn't stand seeing Mimi and Pawpaw walking without them, so they joined us on the track. We were all holding hands and sporting huge smiles!
The organizers asked me on the Thursday night before the relay if I would be willing to speak at the relay about my story. I agreed, then began having butterflies. I am not a public speaker! It was better when I found out that I wouldn't speak until about 1:15 A.M. Not a lot of people left at that early hour! My speech lasted maybe 7 or 8 minutes (seemed like a lot longer!) and my people left there said I did a good job. I hope it helped someone there who has just been diagnosed or has a loved one going through testing. It was to promote doing everything we can to fight cancer.
I did have a CT scan done last month and went to the Dr. for the results last week. Great news! He said that it showed no new signs of cancer anywhere! Yea,Yea,Yea!!! I think that I will be going for scans and seeing the oncologist every 3 months for the next 2 years. I'm glad of that because I know now that I can have cancer growing inside of me and not know it!
I am trying to start a walking routine so I can gain my energy back and get that left lung expanded on out. I do get pretty winded still but I just need to work on it every day. I also did go back to the hairdresser and am once again BLOND!
Ronnie and I are going on a week vacation to South Padre next week with Jerry and Ginger. It will be good to go and not think about being sick. I just want to have a fun, relaxing time with good friends!
Again, thanks for continued prayers,
Love ya, Joyce

Looking forward to Relay!

2009-04-11T09:53:00.004-05:00

I'm getting more and more excited as the time draws near for the Relay for Life! It is 2 weeks away and the final preparations are being made. I am so glad that I delegated other people to do some of the work. Knowing how I am - I would forget something really important until the day before - then I would do a lot of fretting about it! I'm a superior fretter! (I know that is not something to be proud of!)
For all of you who have donated to the American Cancer Society on my behalf, I thank you so much! I know that the excellent care I received and the drugs that were administered to me were connected to research that the A.C.S. has funded throughout the past few years. Also, the A.C.S. provides care and services to every cancer patient. I personally found out that they have a room full of wigs and scarves that are free to cancer patients who are in need of these. There are so many, many other things that they provide that thankfully I did not need! (If you want to donate and don't know how to do it - go to www.relayforlife.org/azletx and click on Joyce's Journey or Joyce's Journey 2 and it should guide you through it. Anyway, thank you so much!
I hope to see many of you at the Relay on Apr. 24th at the Forte Jr. High football field starting at 6:00 P.M. We are going to have a great time together and I will love seeing everyone who has been praying me through my journey!
Love you all!

Reflections

2009-04-05T14:48:00.003-05:00

I have had some time in the last 2 weeks to reflect back on the last year. I know each one of us goes through something in our life that is very life changing. If you haven't experienced that yet - enjoy where you are now! But most of us have gone through something, especially if you are in your 40's or 50's.
Exactly a year ago, I had a wreck. When it happened, I didn't think it was anything life-changing. Some careless driver just pulled out in front of me and totalled my 14 year old truck! Oh well, I wasn't really ready to buy a different vehicle and I really liked that old green truck. I really didn't find out until the end of April that the simple wreck would lead to 12 months of major surprises and total changes in how I viewed life. And I know that God was with me the whole way!
First was finding out that I had to have neck fusion surgery. That sounded really scary! But it really wasn't that scary and the biggest nuisance about it was having to wear that horrid neck brace for 9 hot weeks! In fact, I've almost forgotten that I even had neck surgery and the scar is very hard to see. Thanks Dr. Bechtel for doing such a good job!
But the life-saving part of the whole wreck thing is the fact that I think about every day. Remember, if they hadn't done the pre-op chest x-ray, I still may not have known today that I had a mass growing in my left lung! That's how it is with most lung cancer patients - they don't know until it's big and spread to other areas! Thank you, God, for saving my life and making me aware that you are with me.
Next was going through another even more major surgery - the removal of the lower lobe of my left lung and having a doctor come in to tell me the dreaded words. Cancer that had spread to a lymph node. This would require chemotherapy for the next 4 months of my life and then another 6 weeks of radiation! Are you ever ready to hear something like that?
I remember being calm and maybe thinking that surely he wasn't talking about me! 6 months seemed like an eternity away. I couldn't even imagine myself in 6 months. I do remember about halfway through the 16 weeks telling my girls that I just wanted to close my eyes and blink and it would be after Christmas and the chemo would be over! It seemed so long away! But look! It is the first week of April and I'm still here and that too did pass!
What have I learned in the last year?
Life is precious and not guaranteed!
What seems like an eternity away is really not and time does go by.
Most important - that God does carry us in the palm of His hands and does get us through anything even if at the time we are going through it we can't feel Him or see Him.
That the prayers sent up to God on our behalf are heard and are very powerful. I never doubted for a minute that many people were praying for me. It seemed that somehow I felt them all! I only hope that I return the prayer favor for those in need of it. I believe the words of Babbie Mason's song"Standing in the Gap". When I didn't have the strength to pray for myself - there were many that were standing in that prayer gap and praying for me!
My prayer now is that I am able to see why God got me to this point. I pray that I give Him all the glory for my blessings. I pray that I use my life for Him and listen hard for the whispers that He gives me everyday.
Love to you all! and thanks for all you did for me and my family.
Joyce

Who am I?

2009-03-21T11:14:00.004-05:00

Yes, that's a big question. So far in my life, I have enjoyed different titles and surroundings that labeled who I was.
As most of you know, growing up I was pretty much a pampered little girl who liked to sleep with her grandmother instead of my own comfortable bed. I always felt so protected when sleeping with her - being alone was scary. By the time I turned 11 though, I was sleeping in my own bed alone and seemed to manage alright. Besides, before I knew it I was a teenager who really didn't need my parents hovering over me all the time and especially not my grandmother!
So, then while still in those teen years I met the love of my life and we got married at the age of 18. I then acquired the title of Mrs. Ronnie Smith. I was a wife! ( Then I was back to sharing my bed with someone and feeling protected and not scared.)
Then, after about 3 years , I gained another monumental title , Mother. Amy was born! What a thrilling time. And a full time job! Then 3 1/2 years later , Starla was born and a different title - mother of 2. Then 3 1/2 later , Brandon was born and a couple of new titles - mother of 3 and mother of a boy! And life was good and past so fast!
I really hadn't planned in all this happy home life that I would get a full-time job, but it happened! After Brandon started to school, I started working for Kerri full time and got my next title - Interior Designer. And yes, I even had an official card from the state of Texas telling me that is what I was!
Of course, with children growing up and starting their own lives , different titles came for me. The next new title was when Starla got married - I then became mother-in-law. And no, I didn't become the nosy kind(I don't think). And so it continued with Amy and Brandon marrying also.
Of course, my prize title is Mimi. With my 4 precious grandchildren, Gracie,Lily,Riley and Dakota, that is the title that makes me smile and beam with pride! They are so precious.
The next title is the scariest one I've ever known. Cancer Survivor! I'm still not sure what God has planned for me to do with this title, but I know he will reveal it's purpose to me. I am sure that God loves me and has a plan for me. Pray for me to have my brain open to his message, my ears open to His whispers!
As of this past Monday, I have finished my radiation and now in the game of waiting for either something to feel different or just waiting for a check-up every 3 months.
Meanwhile, my new title seems to be RETIRED. I can't wait for the flowers to start blooming!

Happy Birthday to Me!

2009-03-01T20:58:00.003-06:00

Yes, that's right. Tomorrow I will celebrate my 56th birthday! Wow, how time flies. I does seem ,though, that the older I get the more I forget. Does that sound familiar to anyone but me? I am learning though to enjoy life and appreciate every day that God is giving me. I just pray that I am showing His glory through the trials I have gone through. I know that God is holding me in the palm of His hand and getting me through each and every day. I just don't want to be missing the opportunities He is giving me.
My radiation is going very well. I still go every day - usually at 2:45. It only takes 5 to 8 minutes for the treatment unless it's the day that they take x-rays. That day takes probably 15 minutes! The drive there is 45 minutes there then 45 minutes back home. I've got the routine down now. I do see the dr. every Tuesday also. He said last week that everything seemed to be going as he planned. I think the only side effect I feel is tiredness. My skin has not started looking sun-burned yet. I am half-way through now, so that's usually when things start happening. I am able to drive myself in , thank goodness.
Ronnie and I just got back from a few days of staying in the travel trailer. Don and Shara are building a little house in Hico and Ronnie and Kenneth are using their talents there. Gwen and Kenneth take their trailer too, so we set us up a little home away from home! This time we got there on Wednesday and came home today(Sunday). Gwen rode with me into Ft.Worth on Thursday and Friday so I could get my treatments. It took us about 2 hours to get there then 2 hours back. It is a nice scenic drive, though and she is a good traveling buddy!
Oh, yes, before I forget - remember that I have told you before that Michelle is soooo smart? Well, she is and she has passed all 4 parts of the C.P.A. exam! She is extremely happy to have all that test studying and test taking behind her! She has literally been doing some kind of school-work and studying for the last 21 years! It has paid off now. She says that she is tired of studying and not planning on taking any test if she can help it.
The Relay for Life is getting all planned. Joyce's Journey has enough people to have 2 teams. Yeah! We have organized and have given responsibilities to different people so just one person won't be overwhelmed. We are not going overboard anyhow - we just want to make a little money for the American Cancer Society and mostly have a fun-filled time together!
Here's a couple of updates - Janice came through her surgery very well and is home recuperating. The biopsy came back begign! Yeah!
Calva is still getting her radiation to her head and spine. Unfortunately, hers is making her nauseated. Boo. She knows that she will make it through it and the nausea is only temporary. Keep praying for all of us.
Love you all!

Relay for Life

2009-02-10T19:59:00.006-06:00

I have had 4 days of radiation and all is going well. They have marked my left chest with target looking markings in permanent ink. I go in every day except Sat. and Sun. I just go in and put on a lovely hospital gown and they take me to a big x-ray room. I lay on the table and be real still! This big x-ray machine zaps me from the top then it travels down below me and zaps me from my back then it comes around to my side and zaps me again. All this takes about 5 - 8 minutes and then I'm through. I don't feel any different yet - although I am so tired already. I guess the going into Ft. Worth every day is going to tire me out. I saw the dr. today and he showed me some pictures of the areas that the radiation is hitting. Pretty interesting.

I am definitely having a team at the Relay for Life here in Azle on April 24th. The name of my team is just like my blogspot - Joyce's Journey. So far I have about 28 team members! We are going to have such a fun night. We are working on fund raiser ideas right now. If you are interested in making a donation to the American Cancer Society under my team name - just go to www.relayforlife.org/azletx and go to Joyce's Journey. The theme of the whole relay in Azle this year is the silver screen so I picked Mamma Mia for the theme for my team. Now we just have to come up with decorations and stuff to go with that.
I still say that I could not have made it through all the mental and physical troubles I have gone through if it hadn't been for my wonderful support team. Ronnie has been the greatest caregiver anyone could ask for! My children have been with me every moment providing me with anything I ask for. My friends have called all the time to check on me and been the greatest chauffeurs! I don't know how people handle all this without support! Most of all, though, is the power of all the prayers that have been said on my behalf. I know that the prayers are what gave me the inner strength to keep thinking positive when I felt so bad. I remember around Thanksgiving time telling the girls that I wished I could just close my eyes and wake up and it was after Christmas already. Those were the worst days of my chemo treatments. But here I am - way past Christmas and I'm still here and positive that all will be well. God is good - He heard my pleas and the prayers of others and got me to this point, of this I'm sure!
My cousin Calva started her radiation treatments on Monday. Keep praying that she will sail through these also. My other cousin , Janice, will have surgery tomorrow(Thursday) and have the spot on her kidney biopsied and frozen. I pray that it is nothing more than a cyst. I'll keep you posted.
Love you all!
Joyce

Wonderful news!

2009-02-03T08:31:00.004-06:00

Yes, I got wonderful news yesterday. I had a pet scan done last Thursday and I went to see Dr. Sorgen(the radiation oncologist) yesterday and he told me the scan did not show any new cancers anywhere. Yeah! I am going to start my radiation treatments tomorrow ( Wednesday) . They will last for 6 weeks - 5 days a week. As of right now, I will be going at 4:30 every day. It just so happens that my cousin Calva is going to be starting her radiation tomorrow also! She has recovered from her brain surgery very well. She thanks everyone for all the prayers ( as do I)
My other cousin, Janice, will be having kidney surgery on Feb. 12th in Arlington. They are going to do laproscopic surgery and biopsy a small spot she has on her kidney then freeze the remaining spot. Pray that this is not malignant but only a cyst of some sort.
I am working on the planning of my booth for the Relay for Life here in Azle on April 24th and 25th. I am excited for all the participation so far and know it is going to be a fun night. I am trying to get in touch with the guy to make us t-shirts so everyone on the team will have matching shirts for the evening. We are also trying to come up with the best ideas for fundraisers. We had to choose a movie theme for our booth, so I chose Mamma Mia. Got to come up with decorating ideas now. My mind is whirring!
In case you didn't know - Starla lost a baby a couple of weeks ago. She was about 2 months along and the fetus just quit growing. The same thing happened last year at this time so the dr. is working on figuring out what is happening. She is doing fine. Also, the day after she found out that she lost the baby - Aaron got laid off from his job! Double whammy! He was fortunate though because he found another truck driving job a couple of days later. Keep them in your prayers.

A New Path

2009-01-17T12:23:00.006-06:00

Hi, everyone! Sorry I haven't posted in a couple of weeks. I still don't know how I did it, but I completely crashed my computer! I had been having trouble with it being so slow, so I decided to try an air card. Well, that sent it into orbit and the more I tried to help it - the worse it got! Finally, one day when I turned it off in disgust - I tried to turn it back on and it wouldn't boot up. At all!!! I went camping the next day for the weekend and before I got back , Brad brought Scott over and he was able to get me going again. Thanks, thanks, thanks to Scott! He is soooo smart. He was also very kind to me and didn't laugh at me for my computer ignorance! I don't know what I did but I am going to be verry careful. He did not get all my stuff off of my hard drive so I'll be busy recreating my pictures and music and those very important things!
Since my last letter, my cousin Calva has had very successful brain surgery and is already home. The surgeon said he was able to get most of the tumor out so the upcoming radiation won't have to do so much. Thanks to all of you for your prayers - they are powerful and effective! Keep it up for her as she recovers and starts her radiation.
My other cousin, Janice, has discovered that she has a very small spot on her kidney! Since Wendell had the same thing, I think she will be having laprascopic surgery to freeze the spot. I'll keep you informed on that.
Speaking of radiation - my journey will be taking me down another path now. I will have a PET scan done week after next and see the radiation oncologist again that same week. (Starla , Amy and I went to see him yesterday). He wants to start the 6 week, 5 days a week regimen the first week of February. I am not scared. He was so very informative. He explained that lung cancer has a history of not traveling very far at first so we need to hit the area close to where the tumor and lymph node were that contained the cancer cells. The chemo was more for total body eradication and the radiation is an added precaution for any microscopic cells that might still be hiding away in that left lung area. The side effects are not supposed to be bad. Best news of all is that maybe my 5 month nausea is finally coming to an end! Hallelujah!!!!! I have finally quit taking my Marinol, but am still using the phenargan occasionally.
I also have decided to have a Joyce's Journey booth at the Relay for Life in Azle on April 24th. It will be an opportunity to raise money for the American Cancer Society but mostly for me to be with all my friends and family that have been carrying me for the last 6 months. I truly can't imagine going through what I have been through without alllllll the support I have had.(and especially the continued prayers!) I'm planning on having a very fun night!

Keep up the prayers for me and my family. I can tell that Ronnie is getting very tired and weary. Pray especially for him and my sweet children.
Love you all!

ahhhh! Finally

2009-01-07T09:35:00.004-06:00

Well, I finally made it! The 16 weeks are over and I have received my last scheduled chemo treatment. I go to see the oncologist next Tuesday and see what he has to say about my future. Ginger took me to the final chemo on Monday. It only took a couple of hours from the time we arrived until the time we were walking out. My white count was only down to 1.3 or 1300 this week and my red count had gone down a little bit more. The nurse asked Dr. if I should get the shot to boost my count but he said no - wait to see where it is next week when I see him .

I have been waiting for this last 4 months to be over. It's almost as if I were in a time warp and it was in slow motion! Now that it has passed I am trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do with this future that God has given me. Lots of heavy thinking,huh? You have to remember , though, that I am still talking my Marinol this week to fight the nausea from Monday's treatment. I can't think too seriously during this time. I'm likely not to remember what big decision I came up with!

I do know that God has provided me with days ahead to use to His glory. I'm not sure where that is leading but I am still listening for God's whispers. I pray that I will recognize them when they appear. I have been studying about when God speaks to you - you will hear Him and you will know that it is God. Let me be listining!

I'll let you know about the dr. visit next week. Calva is still having mri's done to know the exact treatment for her - it should start soon. Keep us in your prayers. Love you all.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

2008-12-31T07:50:00.006-06:00

On one hand, I can't believe that 2009 is almost here - but on the other hand I never thought that the last 16 weeks would ever end! I only have one more scheduled chemo treatment. That will happen next Monday if my white count remains high enough. This Monday, it was 1900 or 1.9. That's way more than it has been on the week after my cisplatin. I do know that he reduced my dosage down to 60% it's original strength. I guess that's what kept my count from dropping so low this week. Anyhow, Monday ,Amy took me because she was off of work. I only got the 1 dose of Navelbine so we weren't there but a couple of hours.I did find that the nausea was still with me . I came home and took my regular nausea medicine on schedule and took a nice long nap!
I forgot to tell you last week about having a day of pampering. (Of course, Ronnie has actually pampered me for the last several months!) This day was Ginger's. She went and bought me a copy of Mamma Mia! and brought it over Saturday. We had total girl day. We put in the movie on the big screen T.V. and she brought out her manicure equipment! I had a total pedicure with everything from foot soaking to red nail polish! I actually have only had one official pedicure that I can remember because my toenails are so ugly! But this foot pampering sure did feel good! Of course, she did manicure also. You know how you look down on your hand and you wonder when your mother's hand appeared on the end of your arm? Well, that's the feeling I had. Mother's nails had developed ridges over the years and I have noticed that mine have done the same. The difference though is that Mother always had strong, long, pretty nails and mine have always been short and thin. Maybe they are changing to be more like hers! I can work on the ridges if only I had nails strong enough to take some abuse. Of course, right now, I don't have the strength to do much hard work so my nails are growing better. I have started taking prenatal vitamins to get the added iron , so I'm thinking this may help my nails to be stronger also! But I know before long my strength will return and I can get out and work in my flower beds. They are looking kinda sad.
Thanks for pampering me Ginger!Love ya lots!
My cousin, Calva, is still waiting on all the MRIs to be done so she can start her radiation. She is supposed to have 6 weeks of radiation - 5 days a week. (That is the same schedule I am going to have if radiation is necessary for me.) After the rounds of that she will have gamma knife treatment done on what's left of the tumor. Keep praying for both of us, please.
Love you all and HAPPY NEW YEAR AND MAY GOD RICHLY BLESS EVERY ONE OF YOU!

Merry Christmas

2008-12-26T08:53:00.003-06:00

Merry Christmas everyone!
I am happy to report that I had a good day on Christmas Eve. That's when we got together at Starla's house for our present exchange. We each brought finger foods so we had a good variety of snacks. Starla and Aaron drove in from Andrews that day so we waited till about 5:30 to get together. I was so surprised when Michelle and Brandon gave me a camera! I haven't had one in several years. It is so cute and small. I hope I will remember to take it with me wherever I go so maybe I will remember to take pictures. My pictures around the house definitely need to be updated!
Ronnie is almost through renovating our master bath. It looks sooooo good. What a difference changing tile will do. We used 18 X18 pieces of travertine instead of the standard 4 X 4 white squares! We are still waiting on the shower door to be made , but we are just using a shower curtain in the meantime. I think the next step of our project will be putting wood floors down in the bedrooms. Ronnie wants a break from bathroom project for a while! I can't wait though to get the hall bath done because it is the ugliest bath ever! But I will be patient.
I had my chemo on Monday as scheduled. Shara took me and got to experience the long day, although , it didn't take as long as usual. He has reduced the dosage of the cisplatin to 60 per cent strength. So I guess maybe it didn't take as long because of that. The nausea didn't really hit me till Thursday, so I slept probably 18 hours out of the 24 hour day! Thank goodness for medications! Today is Friday so I will hopefully be getting over some of the nausea by this evening. This was my last week to get the cisplatin and navelbine together. The next 2 Mondays, I will only get the navelbine if my blood count is high enough. Then I should be through with chemo! I thought I would never get to this point!
Keep praying for me as the next weeks pass. I am supposed to see a radiation dr. sometime in January or February. Also, keep my cousin, Calva, in your prayers still. She should see the radiation dr. this next week to see what her treatment will be for her tumor in her brain.

Just a week till Christmas!

2008-12-18T10:36:00.005-06:00

Here it is Thursday morning! I was able to get my cisplatin and navelbine infusion on Monday. My blood had come up to it's normal numbers. I did talk to Dr. Redrow on Monday (Amy and Starla were with me ) and he seemed to think everything was going fine. He didn't indicate that there is any worries over all the treatments that I have not been able to take. He will see me again the second week of January and reassess my condition then send me over to a radiation specialist to see whether I will require radiation also. I'm hoping that they will do another pet scan so they can make sure it hasn't shown up somewhere else.
The nausea is better this week because maybe I have my pill taking schedule under control a little bit better! I will just sit real still when the wave starts rolling in!
We are getting our Christmas schedule all worked out. Of course, the important part of the festivities is what goodies to make. We decided we just wanted snacky type meal on Christmas Eve instead of full-blown holiday meal. Remember, we did that for Thanksgiving at Starla's. So for Christmas - it won't be so healthy!
I think all my shopping is done. I really didn't do too much. A couple online purchases and a couple of someone else going and doing my picking! Been pretty easy for me, huh? We did some tree switching this year. Starla took Amy's big tree because Amy took my tall skinny tree because I borrowed Grace and Lily's little tree to put in my living room! Starla also is using my outdoor lights because that was not something that Ronnie was going to mess with this year!
I asked all of you last week to remember to pray for my cousin Calva as you lift my name up. She had a biopsy done and found out the results on Tuesday. She does have a neural-pineal blastoma. A malignant tumor on her penial gland in her brain. They have told her that it is not related to the colon cancer! She is waiting to get with an specialist for this to decide the treatment plan ,probably radiation. She is still very brave and positive, but still remember her name to God. Thanks!

A little bit of Navelbine

2008-12-09T11:22:00.004-06:00

Hi Everyone!
This week was Gwen's week to be my driver. We went to the oncology center prepared for them to take my blood and call me back and tell me "sorry, your white count is still too low". So, I was surprised when the nurse actually took me back to the infusion area. I asked her if I passed the test this time. She said no - that my count was still the same as last week.(600). But Dr. Redrow looked at my chart and for some reason decided that I at least needed to get a little of the Navelbine in me! He cut the dosage in half and they told me to be especially careful of where I went and who I got around this week. She said the Navelbine could make my count go lower before next Monday. I actually have an appointment with Dr. Redrow then. He may have to put me on Neuprigin shots to boost my W.B.C. We'll see. One of the nurses also told me to start trying to take my Marinol on a regular basis. That way my body can get more used to it and it will make me have an appetite and keep me from having a queasy stomach every time I eat something. Who knew that I would ever have trouble with eating!
Well, it's getting closer and closer to Christmas. I am not going to be able to go anywhere to shop , so the buying that I have done so far is either online(which is still scary to me) or the girl's have shopped for me. I have one dilemma,though. I always buy everyone a new ornament for my tree every year. That means 12 new and different ornaments. I decided to be creative and make some since I was home anyway. I got Amy,Starla,Michelle and I one figured out and made yesterday. I'm having trouble thinking of something for everyone else. I guess I have lots of time available to think , don't I?
Brandon is scheduled the have his left knee operation done on this Thursday. It should go as smooth as the other one did , so he'll be recuperating the rest of this year.
I'm still asking for each of you to remember me in your daily prayers and please include my cousin, Calva, as you pray. Yesterday(Monday) she had a brain biopsy done on some sort of mass they found in her brain. They should have the results sometime in the next 2 days. It could just be some sort of calcification, but it is something that is causing the spinal fluid not to drain properly, and causing some swelling in her brain. She remains in good spirits. They will decide on action needed after the biopsy results come in.
Happy shopping to you all! Love ya

Still Being Thankful

2008-12-02T09:54:00.005-06:00

I am still so happy that I was able to spend the evening on Thanksgiving with my family and enjoy our wonderful meal together! Everything tasted so good. I know that God had his hand in my non-nausea day! I got to spend the evening with my sweet grandbabies, too. I think they all took a turn sitting in my lap so I could give them hugs and kisses. It felt good.
I went to get my chemo yesterday, and just as it has been in the past - my blood count was too low. This time the neutrofil was 600. The nurse told me if it had been over 1000 that they would probably let me have my treatment. We'll see if it goes up any by next Monday.
Chelsa was my chauffeur this week. She was supposed to go last week but I was feeling so lousy and Ronnie needed to be there instead. Anyhow, I loved being with her. I don't get to see her anymore.(Of course, when I think about it, I don't get to see hardly anybody very often!) We talked from the time I got into her car until the time she dropped me off at home! Surprise, surprise! We talked about how we don't get to see each other now after lots and lots of years of seeing each other 3 times a week.(except the 4 years or so she was off at college.) It makes me try to be more aware to not take people and the time we have together for granted. But you know, Chelsa and I do talk on the phone at least once every week, so it makes up a little for not seeing her face to face! Anyhow, thanks Chelsa for driving me and loving me! Hope you know I love you too.
Ronnie has started redoing the shower in our master bath. It was getting old and crumbly. You know how one thing leads to another! He's completely retiling the shower and the floor in the bath, putting new countertop in and new fixtures, painting the walls and cabinets. It will look so good! Of course, then, he is going to start on the hall bath which is going to require lots more labor. We'll just take one room at a time! But all who know and love Ronnie are sure of one thing - it will be done right - may take longer than originally thought - but it will be done right! Know what I mean?
Love you all and miss seeing you. I'm counting down now - 5 weeks left of the original treatment schedule!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

2008-11-27T11:36:00.007-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Yes, it is Thursday and I am feeling a lot better than I did last Thursday! Hooray! I went to the oncology center on Monday with the idea that I wasn't up to getting this weeks treatments regardless of how my blood counts were. I had such a strange, terrible week last week, I guess I had become paranoid. I have decided the steroids are a definite no-no. They did tricks with my brain. Then, I have decided the Kytril also does weird things to me mentally. So, no more of those 2. Dr. Redrow actually let me make the final decision on whether to go ahead or not. I agreed that if he would put me on something else that might not affect my brain so bad I would do it. I know how important it is to stay on protocol if at all possible for the best outcome. This time he ordered the pill form of marijuana to take every 6 hrs. as needed for nausea in combination with compezine. He also ordered me some Ativan to handle anxiety associated with all the chemo. I have taken a couple of the marinol and I do feel a little like I'm on a high!(The nausea maybe changed to hunger also)I also have all my best friends willing to be over here in a split second to make sure my medication is put to good use! Sorry, I'm a very selfish, self-centered person!
We are planning to go to Starla's house around 6:00 this afternoon to eat fried hens, dressing, green bean casserole, orange jello stuff, fruit salad, potatoes and pies. I am hoping I am feeling non-nauseous and will enjoy every bite! Ronnie, Aaron and Starla have been working hard all week to get the inside of her house painted. I can't wait to see the finished product. It's kind of a green/brown/gold color. Pretty!
Well, I guess the next test for me will be my blood test next Monday to see if I finally get the 1 Navelbine treatment.(That's the one that I haven't been able to receive yet because of low WBC..
Speaking of tests - Michelle (who is super-smart!) takes her last test of the 4 necessary to become a CPA. So far, she has passed 2 and waiting on the grade from #3 and takes #4 on Friday in Abilene.
Brandon had knee surgery last week and is still having some discomfort and will get the stitches out next week. He is also going to have the other knee fixed in December. He's not used to being limited in what he can do!
I have had lots of time lately to stop and think of all the things that I have to be thankful for . There are so many, I couldn't even begin to list them all. Mostly, though, God has blessed me with the most marvelous husband ever! What would I have done without him during the last few months? God has also blessed me with a loving family that treats me very queenly. My friends also are my blessings. They are all waiting for me to let them know of something(anything) that I need done and they will gladly carry out the task. Of this I'm sure! I love you all - hope you realize that each of you are a blessing.

JUST GETTING BY

2008-11-20T10:57:00.004-06:00

Hi Everyone!
Well, I did get to have my 2 drug chemo treatment this week! Not that I'm all that excited at this moment, though. Today is Thursday and I received it on Monday and have been my regular-old nauseated self since then. I started taking the new Emend Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday along with the previous Kytril, along with a new steroid the the Dr. thought might help with the nausea and possibly keep my blood count from going so low! I can still take the phenargan along with all these (and I have!) Iguess I have to face the fact that the chemo is mean and I have to just make it the best I can through the rough days.
Amy was able to get off work Monday and take me for my routine chemo. Starla met us there to see what the dr. said this week. I actually didn't see Dr. Redrow, I saw his P.A. and she was very good and informative.
Even if it probably sounds like I am whining (which I am!) my outlook is still positive and I am getting closer to the end of my chemo. The P.A. did say that it has on my chart that I will be receiving radiation after my chemo cycles are over in January. I will have to have 6 weeks of 5 days a week. I guess we'll see if he does more scanning before he starts that! No matter what, I still am trusting that God is watching over me and my family! I do believe Jeremiah 29:11-13 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord," plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart". I believe God is giving me this time to seek Him and pay attention to where He is leading me.
I still want to thank all of you who have stood by my side and offered up your daily prayers for me - I do still feel every one of them.
Love you all!

Another week off

2008-11-11T09:07:00.005-06:00

Starla took me to chemo this week and once again my WBC was too low. My count had come up a little however from a .4 to a .7! I guess this means that my bone marrow is working hard to get me ready for next Monday - the big one again! I am not upset at all about not getting the Navelbine because I do get it every time I get the mean Cisplatin! I'm just getting it half as often as the standard treatment calls for. As I have told some of you, I am just so grateful that I am not depending on the chemo to shrink a cancerous tumor before the surgeon can even go in and remove it. So many cancer patients have to do the chemo before they can have the tumor(s)removed! I still believe that I am cancer-free and this chemo treatment plan is for preventive measures.
I am halfway through the planned treatment of 4 cycles of 4 weeks each. I'm not sure how the holiday season is going to go. I know, I know - all of you that know my habits will swear that this is just this year's attempt to get out of doing any of the cooking! Don't you think that is a little drastic on my account? But when I think about it , I couldn't have very well used as my excuse the neck surgery could I? After all it has been 6 months since then!
I look out at my flower garden and don't see much color left! Ronnie has cut down about half of the cannas and all the other plants that it has gotten too cold for. The mums are now in full bloom - thank goodness for seasonal colors. Ginger called the other day and asked what we were doing. My best answer was that we were sitting on the back porch watching the green leaves turn rust! What a life!
Once again, I ask for your continued prayers and know that I love each of you lots.
Joyce

Another failing week

2008-11-04T12:36:00.009-06:00

Okay, I have to correct something!
I spoke too soon last week about the whole nausea thing! Yes, the Emend did work the best and I will go with it again. The problem is that they only gave me a 3 dose pack which worked Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday until about 6:00 P.M. Then the nausea came back around and stayed with me the rest of the week! ugh! I didn't get to make it to Gracie's big debut, but Amy videoed it on her phone. Bummer! And yes, I am getting the medication problem fine-tuned for the next 2 weeks of the 2 drug regimen.
Donna took me yesterday for my 1 drug week and once again I was a failure! The neutrofil number was even lower this week than it was a month ago(the first time I failed the test) They again told me to go home and stay away from sickies and practice good hand-washing. ( do I look like maybe I don't wash my hands?) Anyhow, I still look at it as a blessing. Woo-hoo, no chemicals pushed into my veins!
Donna was an excellent chauffeur for me. Yes, I did let her take me the downtown route. It is her favorite route to anywhere! And yes, she did find her way there without any help from me. In all things give thanks! Sorry, Donna, you know that I have to give you a hard time - how else will you know for sure that I'm feeling better? But on a more sentimental note, last week I talked about Kerri and I spending so much time together. Well, I probably spent the next biggest amount of time with Donna , so we needed some together time also. Thanks, Donna!
After one more week, I will be halfway through my scheduled treatment regimen. And no, it doesn't seem like it has flown by!
I haven't written about some good news that I got last week! I had applied for Social Security Disability a couple of months ago and have been waiting to hear a denial from them. Well, last week I got a letter stating that I have been approved!!! My first check won't arrive till next March, ( you evidently have to be disabled for 6 months continously before the payments start) but I am so happy! I had been told not to be discouraged if I got a denial because they usually deny first. I was just going to appeal their decision. But I didn't have to figure out how to appeal! Isn't that exciting?
I still love hearing from you all. When I am in quarintine, I don't get to get out and about too much but I am glad the weather is so beautiful. Keep praying!
Love you all

MUCH BETTER WEEK!

2008-10-29T10:50:00.004-05:00

Today is Wednesday and it is so wonderful when you finally find a medicine that works! I am trying Emend this week and so far it has worked the best. I still have a little queasy spot in the middle of my stomach, but it is not an overall feeling. I have been able to eat a little bit and can actually drink more fluids without feeling like I am force feeding myself! I feel human again!
I need to have a better week because Gracie is the first speaker in the second grade program Thursday night and I have to be there to see her great performance! She gets to welcome everyone to the show! I had to give her bangs a little trim Monday night so she could actually see the audience she was talking to.
Kerri got to be my companion in chemo this week. It was good to spend some time with her - it's been almost 3 months since I quit working. You have to remember that we spent 5 days a week together for 20 years or so. Now, that's lots of together time! Anyhow, I really enjoyed her company and catching up on what's going on. It did remind me that God is in charge of our lives and works everything out. He brought Lindsay back to Azle at the perfect time! Of course, what else should I expect from God but perfection? Kerri and Lindsay are working on new projects and some old ones that we had started when I was there. With Lindsay being here, I am able to erase any thoughts of guilt that might have otherwise creeped in. ( I have been accused of being a worrywart) Anyway, I understand the scripture " Be still and know that I am God". I am still ,and I know that He is working everything out. Thank you God!

Good to go again

2008-10-24T09:06:00.004-05:00

Yea, I finally passed a blood test! Starla took me Monday to the Dr. and my blood work was finally back up to normal. I told her that I wasn't so sure that I should be excited about it being back up because that meant the horrible chemicals in my system again. Well, I was right to feel that way. Today is Friday and I am just now beginning to feel human again. I tried the new nausea medicine this week and I'm not sure it was for me. I had a headache and still had to supplement it with the old standby, Phenargan. So, needless to say I pretty much slept this week away! Next week , I'm supposed to get the double treatment again so please pray that I tolerate it better than I did this week.
I keep myself as positive as I can by reminding myself that it is only temporary. I only have 5 more treatments of the double meds. In the long run, if I sleep away a few days, it won't matter so much. I do miss seeing my sweet grandbabies, though. I'm sure that they know that I love them and will see them as soon as I feel better.
Keep up the prayers on my behalf. I still believe that they are powerful and effective and that God knows me personally and is with me every step of the journey!
God bless you all!

Another week off!

2008-10-14T10:19:00.004-05:00

Well, Shara took me for my chemo yesterday and once again I failed the blood test! ( you know how I hate to do anything but 100 on a test!)My neutrophil number was the same as last week(700) but my total WBC count had come up. The nurse told me that sometimes that happens. There is a medication they can give me to help my WBC but they like for my bone marrow to bring it up on it's own. I am already scheduled to see Dr. Redrow next Monday so we'll see what he wants to do about it. Meanwhile, I still have to stay away from anyone who is sick or might have been around the sick.
We are going camping tomorrow (Wed.) and coming home on Sunday. The weather is supposed to be nice for the weekend so I'm looking forward to getting out of the house! The Geary's and the Foxes are going too. I'll be taking my beading bag with me so maybe I'll get creative. It will all be according to if my brain is working or not. All of you know that lately it's hit and miss!
I miss seeing my babies but maybe they'll remember who I am when my blood decides to cooperate. Gracie is waiting for me to be better so we can bedazzle her new jeans. Now, that will be fun.
No other new news for this week. I miss seeing you all and appreciate the visits I did have last week. Love you all!

What a Bummer!

2008-10-07T04:52:00.008-05:00

Well, I'm bummed! Starla took me to get my easy week of chemo yesterday. We got there at 8:30 and got my blood work done. They called me back in about 20 minutes and sat me in a different area.(I should have known then that something was up) The nurse came over and told me that my white blood count was too low for me to receive my chemo. The neutrophil part of is was at 700 and what I could tell from the lab report - it should be 1500 or above. She told me to go home and stay away from sick people and practice good hand washing and drink lots of fluids. I asked her if this was going to bump me back a week in my chemo schedule. She said that it wouldn't - that next week to come in at the scheduled time and continue as if I had had the treatment this week. I guess I should be glad that I get a week off from getting chemicals put into my body! Ahhhhh, maybe a few days without feeling nauseated. In all things give thanks!
My hair still has not thinned too much. I do find hairs laying around the sink and on my clothes and I can tell that it is thinner than normal but I don't think it's too obvious. The doctor told me to expect it in about 2 weeks and that maybe it would be about half of my hair that would fall out.
I'm still going to go wig shopping as soon as my quarantine is over! Ronnie is not going to let me get out too much this week and if anyone is able to make it inside the house - you can be assured that he will be worse than he was when our children were newborn! If any of you were around then you will remember that no one touched the precious newborn without first washing your hands! Oh, to be loved and protected!
I've got some Bible study work to catch up on this week, so I'll be busy. I have started the Experiencing God study. I first did this study about 11 years ago and it was life changing for me. My Bible study group (that used to meet on Mondays but now has changed to Wednesday) started it about 4 weeks ago and I'm trying to stay up with them. So far, I haven't been able to meet with them and I miss seeing them, but I know they are with me in spirit! I'm there with you, girls!
I love hearing from all of you. I have saved all your precious cards and go through them when I'm feeling down. I feel the love and prayers!

Nausea - Not Fun

2008-10-02T10:05:00.004-05:00

Okay, I have 2 weeks down now - 14 to go.
I have found out that the drug Cisplatin is mean and is notorious for causing nausea! I hate to throw up! It doesn't hit me until about 36 hours after the treatment - I guess it takes that long for my body to go WHAT'S GOING ON! Anyhow, there are all kinds of nausea meds. out there but so far we haven't found the one that works best for me. It's trial and error. The phenargan works pretty good but I'm sooooo sleepy! The nurse told me yesterday that she would order me some Kytril for my next round of Cisplatin. Thank goodness it is the one I only get twice a month! The next 2 weeks will hopefully not be so bad because I only get the Navelbine (which should only take about 20 minutes to infuse.
Ginger took me for my treatment on Monday. We had enough time to figure out how to work Starla's laptop and watch a whole movie! I sure does help make the time go by quicker! It all went very smooth - I'm so glad someone is going with me every time - blessed with wonderful family and friends!
I'm still waiting for major hair loss. So far, so good. I think if it is going to happen it will be in the next few days. I'll keep you posted. I have blinged up some caps just in case! Oh, to have something to occupy my mind and my time! There's nothing like sparkles! I know there are some of you out there that think that plain is better - it makes me sad for you!
Keep up your prayers - I still feel their power! God is good and knows what I need and He is providing! Love you all!

1 DOWN - 15 TO GO!

2008-09-23T14:34:00.007-05:00

Well, I made it through my first chemo treatment! I was nervous going in. The nurse even asked me if I was nervous - it must have shown. I told her that I had been calm and confident up until Sunday and then it hit me that I was about to get foreign chemicals going through my whole body! She said that was a very common reaction. Anyway, it took from 9:45 till 3:30 because I had to have blood work, see the Dr., see the financial counselor, then wait for my turn to go back to the infusion area. The actual infusion took about 3 hours. The first 2 weeks I will get 2 drugs - Cisplatin and Navelbine. Then the next 2 weeks I will only get the Navelbine.
Starla stayed with me and brought her laptop so we watched a movie! Ah, modern technology! Amy even surprised us and came up to see if I was doing okay. Seeing some of the patients in there really made me see that I don't have it bad at all! I do remember when Wendell first went to M.D.Anderson. He called me and said as he was walking those long halls to his different tests- he looked at all those patients and said "look at all those poor people" then caught himself and said - I am those people! That was kinda my reaction yesterday!
I made it through the infusion very well. In fact, after I got home I went ahead and took the nausea medication that they gave me yesterday even if I didn't feel nauseous. Well, I'm glad I did! About 2:00 a.m. I woke up and sat up straight in my bed with a feeling of something coming up! It didn't though, and I took another pill and spent the rest of the night sitting up in the recliner. Today has been better, but I am taking my pill every 6 hours! Hopefully it's a 24 hr. nausea!
I am going tomorrow for a brain M.R.I. No, nothing is wrong, we are just doing it for a baseline in case something is going on later. I had read in a lot of the information that I have been given that for my type and stage of cancer that this test should be done.
I have to tell you one more exciting thing that happened to me last week. I went to Richland Hills Church of Christ on Wednesday evening to their special service on letting God work in your life for healing purposes. Amy,Brad,Starla,Aaron,Brandon,Michelle,Donna and I went. While the praise team led songs,( and yes, Wendy was there singing for me!) there were probably 20 elders and their wives stationed around the perimeter of the building waiting for people to pray with. My group went with me to one of the elders and he said the sweetest prayer for me and for my family. I felt so covered after I left there. Ready to face what was before me. God is so good.
I still haven't made the wig selection - if it is supposed to happen it will come easily, right?
I still feel all of your prayers said on my behalf - it is strong and powerful. Keep it up!

To Wig or Not to Wig

2008-09-17T16:24:00.004-05:00

Well, the time is getting closer for me to start my treatments and I have mixed emotions. I feel like I finally have my strength almost back so I'm ready physically but am I ready emotionally? I want to get it started so I can get it over with! I pray every day for God to give me the comfort that only comes from Him. I do still feel every one of your prayers and feel so cared about. I told someone the other day that I feel very selfish because I act like the world is revolving around me. If I have acted like that toward any of you, please forgive me - I know that there are so many people out there that have it so much worse than me.
Starla and I were able to go to the American Cancer Society on Monday and look at the wigs and scarves that they have to offer. Did you know that they are free there? Well, unfortunatly, there was nothing there wig-wise that even remotely looked like me. There were some cool black, long, straight ones that looked real cool on but were definitely not me! There were also some there that looked like some old ladies that I have seen! Anyhow, my girls don't really like the idea of me wearing a wig and my hair may not be falling out. We went to a wig shop over by the mall and found one that looked pretty good and matched my pre-brown hair. It had a scalp that looked real, too, but it costs $250.00! That's a little much especially if I am not sure if I will need it. I did find a real cool brown sparkly cap that I got at the A.C.S. I have something to start with!
I went for my 6 week after surgery check-up today and he said that I still had a little fluid in my lungs but not anything to worry about. If I feel up to it in 4 weeks I will have another chest x-ray done and go see him again. Otherwise, he said everything was going good for me. I still have a nagging cough, maybe a combination of allergy and lung fluid! Everyone around me is sick and tired of my cough! Me especially!
Keep letting me hear from you! I love it!
'

The Port - Ouch!

2008-09-10T11:00:00.004-05:00

Well, Monday I went to Harris Hospital for outpatient surgery to insert the port in my chest that I will be receiving my chemo treatments through. I had to be there at 9:30 for all the pre-op but I didn't end up having the surgery until about 2:30. The wait for me wasn't so bad, but for Ronnie, Starla, Donna and Steve - it must have seemed like forever!
The procedure only took 30 minutes or so and I woke up and was back home by maybe 6:00. But, oh the PAIN. My right shoulder hurt and my port site hurt so bad. Mr Vicodin and I were friends that night! I kept and ice pack on and off while I was awake and by the next afternoon, I felt much better. I never even thought about that hurting so bad. Maybe I'm becoming wimpy! It sure is nice, though , that I can sit around in my p.j.'s all day long! Ginger came over to see me at 8:00 P.M. and I was still in the p.j.'s from the night before!
Today(Wednesday) Ronnie, Amy and I are going to the training session at the oncology center so we will be prepared for the upcoming 16 weeks of treatment. I am mentally ready for the journey before me - thanks to all your prayers on my behalf! I feel every one of them so keep it up. I'm also so appreciative of all the cards that I have received. That is so uplifting to me when I'm sitting around, not getting out too much. I love you all!

Short Brown Hair!

2008-09-04T07:20:00.004-05:00

Well, I look at myself differently now - literally. Now, before I get started with my rambling, I have to tell all my friends that have beautiful brown hair that I am not saying anything negative about their hair color! There are certain of my friends that are laughing now and saying "I seem to recall you saying something negative about brown eyes, too!" I love brown hair and brown eyes, but when I look at the mirror, I'm not used to seeing that on me!
When I went to the oncologist last week, he said that my hair wouldn't necessarily all fall out but that it would probably thin out and get brittle. I asked him if it would be a good idea to go ahead and cut it short. He said it wouldn't be a bad idea. So, last Friday I went to the hairdresser with about 6 pictures of short hair and let her decide which look would work best for me. She cut it all to about 2 inches long on the top and kinda short layered in the back. I'm guessing that she cut off about 6 inches.
I looked at myself in her mirror after she had dried it and fixed it and just stared. She was afraid that I was upset that it was so short. It wasn't the short that caught my gaze - it was the brown! Now, for years (as so many of my friends and comrades have done) I haven't known exactly what my natural hair color was. Sound familiar? I have had blond hair for 54 years(I didn't have any hair until I was 1!) , either naturally or by artificial means. I hadn't had my highlights touched up for about 5 months, so I did have roots growing out. When I looked in the mirror, I saw quickly that I had at least 2 inches of roots! The haircut is real cute and real different than I have had in some time, but I now have to put "brown" on any questionnaire that asks my hair color! I'm getting used to it and boy is it easy to fix!
Enough about my hair! I went to the dentist last week and found that I need 2 crowns done before I start on my chemo. I go today for the first visit. One thing seems to lead to another, doesn't it? Next Monday, the 8th, I go for outpatient surgery to Harris Hosp. to have my port put in for my chemo. I'm so glad they are doing that! I dread getting I.V's. It will be a long day, but I will come home when I wake up good. Poor Ronnie! He is such a trooper, but as you all know, he doesn't do waiting at hospital very good! Again I say that God has blessed me, especially with such a wonderful husband. And by the way, we celebrated our 37th anniversary last week. I felt good enough to go out to eat at Lucilles!
Keep up your prayers for me and my family. I feel every one of them!
Love you all.

Words from Sherry

2008-09-01T11:40:00.004-05:00

The following is a letter I received from my sister-in-law Sherry. She is awesome! I can't say anything better today than what she has said to me. I have already told you that I am listening for God's whispers. This letter is what I received this morning:

Whispers of God”

I started “Whispers of God” when I wrote to Joyce, my sister-in-Christ, who had been diagnosed with cancer. She had an operation and was waiting to recover from surgery only to start 16 weeks of chemotherapy.
I wrote to Joyce to give her testimony of God’s whispers to me when I was diagnosed with leukemia and ultimately had a bone marrow transplant that God used to heal. Today, there is no sign of leukemia.
I told her of the many times that I would feel afraid or insecure and how God would show up to gently whisper comfort and His presence in my life as only He could. These whispers were not something I was looking for but, a gift, a gift from God to let me know He was there and knew me intimately. He heard my cries and answered my prayers.
After writing and sending the letter to Joyce, I was up early one morning, reading my Bible. I was reading Psalm 107:23 – 32. This scripture read “He stilled the storm to a whisper”. My heart was in awe as I knew the Lord gave that scripture to me and I believed it was for Joyce. I researched a little further that day for scriptures that had the word “whisper” in it. He gave me the scripture I Kings 19:9. “And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.” Life application would say “Elijah knew that the sound of gentle whisper was God's voice. He realized that God doesn't reveal himself only in powerful, miraculous ways. To look for God only in something big may be to miss him because he is often found gently whispering in the quietness of a humbled heart.” I sent that to Joyce as well.
The day after I sent these scriptures to Joyce, my mother said that the Sunday sermon’s title was “The Day God Whispered”.
Today, after I prayed for forgiveness of sin and rebellion in my life. I was wondering how I could ever feel cleansed from all my sin and shame. I was reading Psalm 51. The Lord whispered. “Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow”. In Exodus, it tells of how “The Israelites were instructed to dip a branch of hyssop in lamb’s blood and sprinkle it on their door posts so that the angel of death would pass over their families (Exodus 12:22). My heart was in awe of his whisper. Just as he instructed the Israelites to sprinkle lamb’s blood over their door posts to save them, his whisper was saying to me… Jesus blood covers my sins. Thanks be to God for my Lord and Savior, the Holy Lamb of God, whose blood covers all my sins. Thank you God for your whispers.

The Wreck

2008-08-30T14:38:00.006-05:00

This part of my journey begins on March 27,2008. I was leaving work at a little before 5:00 and was approaching the elementary school on Jackson Trail. As I got closer to the teacher parking lot, I noticed a convertible with the top down approaching the exit and not slowing down. And as I had feared, she pulled out right in front of me, not stopping but actually accelerating! I hit her broadside! Her car spun around and hit a tree. I pryed open my door and was afraid I was going to see a terribly injured person. She just had a few scratches on her and was able to climb out of the car. She immediately talked about how I was going to sue her and she was so sorry. In a panic, she had pushed on the accelerator instead of the brake! I assured her that I was not going to sue her, but was she injured? The next words out of her mouth were ones that I didn't want to hear: It wasn't her car; she didn't have a driver's license; she didn't have insurance; she wasn't wearing a seat belt and she had found out the day before that she was pregnant! I insisted that she get someone to take her to the emergency room. She did receive a couple of tickets. An examination at the e.r. showed that she had a concussion but the baby seemed okay. Tragically, I found out later that she did loose the baby a couple of weeks later.
I felt all over my body and didn't seem hurt. Unfortunately, our precious 14 year old truck did not fare so well. It was totalled. Luckily, we had uninsured motorist coverage with our insurance so this helped us find another vehicle - a cute little P.T. Cruiser. I went on for a couple of weeks before I noticed that I was having headaches and my left arm was beginning to hurt terribly bad and my pointer finger was going numb and tingling. Eventually, I went to my doctor, Kathy Brooks, and she sent me for an MRI and to a surgeon. Amy went with me to the surgeon and he confirmed that I had 2 bulging discs in my neck and would require fusion surgery and a metal plate put in my neck! Well, along with paying for my truck, my uninsured motorist covered my surgery and lost wages associated with it.
I did really well during the surgery and 9 week recuperation. The worst part was probably the neck brace that I had to wear! In preparation for the surgery , there is all the pre-op testing. Part of the tests is a chest x-ray. On the afternoon before surgery, the hospital called and told me that I might have to postpone my surgery because a mass was shown on my x-ray. I couldn't believe it. Kerri called Kathy Brooks and Kathy called the radiologist who read my x-ray. She told him that she would follow up with checking out the spot on my lung after I had the neck surgery - so I was able to go ahead with the surgery the next day. Kathy was my hero!
True to her word ( and mostly her concern for me) about a month into my recovery, she scheduled a CT scan of my chest. She went ahead and scheduled me to see a lung surgeon(Dr. Macias) and get the reports. Ronnie and I saw Dr. Macias on July 14th. He said that the ct scan showed something that needed further testing. He scheduled a PET/Ct scan which would show up any cancer in my body. I had this test done on July 16th. On July 23rd, Ronnie and I went to Dr. Macias office to hear either I had cancer or I didn't. Well, that's not what we found out. The test showed mild to moderate activity in the mass in my lung but was inconclusive as to whether it was a malignancy or not. More testing needed! This time I went for a biopsy on July 30th. The radiologist who did it was almost certain that it was not malignant but we needed to wait to get the report back from testing . I had made an appt. for Aug.14th to find out the results. But, to my surprise, the dr. office called and said the results were in and to come in on the 5th.
Kathy called and said she wanted to meet Ronnie and I at Dr. Macias office at 3:30. With the 3 of us in his office he said the dreaded words "I'm so sorry but we got the results back and you have adenocarcinoma - lung cancer!" We were stunned! He said that this kind grows pretty quickly in women so we needed to do surgery quickly. By the time I had breathing testing and all the pre-op done , surgery was done on Aug. 8th. I again did very well . They removed the lower left lobe and the surrounding lymph nodes and part of the upper lobe that the mass was touching. The results of the biopsy for this showed that it had spread to one lymph node but not into the blood vessel next to it. Because of the activity in the lymph node, I will have to undergo chemotherapy and possibly radiation. It is scheduled to start on Sept. 22nd and go for 16 weeks straight - one day a week.
I am not afraid because I feel God holding me in the palm of His hand. I do realize because of what Mother and Wendell went through, that it won't be a picnic, but I remain positive that I will make it through it all and come out a better person - because I know that I couldn't do it without God and without all of you praying for me!
God also blessed me with a wonderful husband. Ronnie has waited on me hand and foot for the last 3 weeks. I do realize that I am also blessed with a wonderful support team that would come anytime I asked.
I ask God daily to protect my precious children through all this because I know how hard it is on them.
I covet your prayers on my behalf and hope that when I'm called on to help someone, that I don't hesitate to do whatever I'm called to do.
I am listening for God's whispers!

God Works In Mysterious Ways

2008-08-29T19:15:00.003-05:00

You know how you sit and wonder what changes are going to happen in your life within the next year? Well, a year ago I would not have thought that my future would hold three surgeries and a life-altering diagnosis. But "God knows the plans He has for us." (Jer. 29:11)

I have begun a journal of the things that have happened to me and decided that I would share it with those who know me and love me. (Besides, at my age, my memory is so bad that if I don't write it down somewhere, I will forget the details.) I also hope to use this as a way to keep everyone updated (in case I forget to call you).

Most of all, I want everyone that reads this to say a special prayer for me each time you log on because I know that prayers are powerful and effective.