1 DOWN - 15 TO GO!

Well, I made it through my first chemo treatment! I was nervous going in. The nurse even asked me if I was nervous - it must have shown. I told her that I had been calm and confident up until Sunday and then it hit me that I was about to get foreign chemicals going through my whole body! She said that was a very common reaction. Anyway, it took from 9:45 till 3:30 because I had to have blood work, see the Dr., see the financial counselor, then wait for my turn to go back to the infusion area. The actual infusion took about 3 hours. The first 2 weeks I will get 2 drugs - Cisplatin and Navelbine. Then the next 2 weeks I will only get the Navelbine.
Starla stayed with me and brought her laptop so we watched a movie! Ah, modern technology! Amy even surprised us and came up to see if I was doing okay. Seeing some of the patients in there really made me see that I don't have it bad at all! I do remember when Wendell first went to M.D.Anderson. He called me and said as he was walking those long halls to his different tests- he looked at all those patients and said "look at all those poor people" then caught himself and said - I am those people! That was kinda my reaction yesterday!
I made it through the infusion very well. In fact, after I got home I went ahead and took the nausea medication that they gave me yesterday even if I didn't feel nauseous. Well, I'm glad I did! About 2:00 a.m. I woke up and sat up straight in my bed with a feeling of something coming up! It didn't though, and I took another pill and spent the rest of the night sitting up in the recliner. Today has been better, but I am taking my pill every 6 hours! Hopefully it's a 24 hr. nausea!
I am going tomorrow for a brain M.R.I. No, nothing is wrong, we are just doing it for a baseline in case something is going on later. I had read in a lot of the information that I have been given that for my type and stage of cancer that this test should be done.
I have to tell you one more exciting thing that happened to me last week. I went to Richland Hills Church of Christ on Wednesday evening to their special service on letting God work in your life for healing purposes. Amy,Brad,Starla,Aaron,Brandon,Michelle,Donna and I went. While the praise team led songs,( and yes, Wendy was there singing for me!) there were probably 20 elders and their wives stationed around the perimeter of the building waiting for people to pray with. My group went with me to one of the elders and he said the sweetest prayer for me and for my family. I felt so covered after I left there. Ready to face what was before me. God is so good.
I still haven't made the wig selection - if it is supposed to happen it will come easily, right?
I still feel all of your prayers said on my behalf - it is strong and powerful. Keep it up!

To Wig or Not to Wig

Well, the time is getting closer for me to start my treatments and I have mixed emotions. I feel like I finally have my strength almost back so I'm ready physically but am I ready emotionally? I want to get it started so I can get it over with! I pray every day for God to give me the comfort that only comes from Him. I do still feel every one of your prayers and feel so cared about. I told someone the other day that I feel very selfish because I act like the world is revolving around me. If I have acted like that toward any of you, please forgive me - I know that there are so many people out there that have it so much worse than me.
Starla and I were able to go to the American Cancer Society on Monday and look at the wigs and scarves that they have to offer. Did you know that they are free there? Well, unfortunatly, there was nothing there wig-wise that even remotely looked like me. There were some cool black, long, straight ones that looked real cool on but were definitely not me! There were also some there that looked like some old ladies that I have seen! Anyhow, my girls don't really like the idea of me wearing a wig and my hair may not be falling out. We went to a wig shop over by the mall and found one that looked pretty good and matched my pre-brown hair. It had a scalp that looked real, too, but it costs $250.00! That's a little much especially if I am not sure if I will need it. I did find a real cool brown sparkly cap that I got at the A.C.S. I have something to start with!
I went for my 6 week after surgery check-up today and he said that I still had a little fluid in my lungs but not anything to worry about. If I feel up to it in 4 weeks I will have another chest x-ray done and go see him again. Otherwise, he said everything was going good for me. I still have a nagging cough, maybe a combination of allergy and lung fluid! Everyone around me is sick and tired of my cough! Me especially!
Keep letting me hear from you! I love it!
'

The Port - Ouch!

Well, Monday I went to Harris Hospital for outpatient surgery to insert the port in my chest that I will be receiving my chemo treatments through. I had to be there at 9:30 for all the pre-op but I didn't end up having the surgery until about 2:30. The wait for me wasn't so bad, but for Ronnie, Starla, Donna and Steve - it must have seemed like forever!
The procedure only took 30 minutes or so and I woke up and was back home by maybe 6:00. But, oh the PAIN. My right shoulder hurt and my port site hurt so bad. Mr Vicodin and I were friends that night! I kept and ice pack on and off while I was awake and by the next afternoon, I felt much better. I never even thought about that hurting so bad. Maybe I'm becoming wimpy! It sure is nice, though , that I can sit around in my p.j.'s all day long! Ginger came over to see me at 8:00 P.M. and I was still in the p.j.'s from the night before!
Today(Wednesday) Ronnie, Amy and I are going to the training session at the oncology center so we will be prepared for the upcoming 16 weeks of treatment. I am mentally ready for the journey before me - thanks to all your prayers on my behalf! I feel every one of them so keep it up. I'm also so appreciative of all the cards that I have received. That is so uplifting to me when I'm sitting around, not getting out too much. I love you all!

Short Brown Hair!

Well, I look at myself differently now - literally. Now, before I get started with my rambling, I have to tell all my friends that have beautiful brown hair that I am not saying anything negative about their hair color! There are certain of my friends that are laughing now and saying "I seem to recall you saying something negative about brown eyes, too!" I love brown hair and brown eyes, but when I look at the mirror, I'm not used to seeing that on me!
When I went to the oncologist last week, he said that my hair wouldn't necessarily all fall out but that it would probably thin out and get brittle. I asked him if it would be a good idea to go ahead and cut it short. He said it wouldn't be a bad idea. So, last Friday I went to the hairdresser with about 6 pictures of short hair and let her decide which look would work best for me. She cut it all to about 2 inches long on the top and kinda short layered in the back. I'm guessing that she cut off about 6 inches.
I looked at myself in her mirror after she had dried it and fixed it and just stared. She was afraid that I was upset that it was so short. It wasn't the short that caught my gaze - it was the brown! Now, for years (as so many of my friends and comrades have done) I haven't known exactly what my natural hair color was. Sound familiar? I have had blond hair for 54 years(I didn't have any hair until I was 1!) , either naturally or by artificial means. I hadn't had my highlights touched up for about 5 months, so I did have roots growing out. When I looked in the mirror, I saw quickly that I had at least 2 inches of roots! The haircut is real cute and real different than I have had in some time, but I now have to put "brown" on any questionnaire that asks my hair color! I'm getting used to it and boy is it easy to fix!
Enough about my hair! I went to the dentist last week and found that I need 2 crowns done before I start on my chemo. I go today for the first visit. One thing seems to lead to another, doesn't it? Next Monday, the 8th, I go for outpatient surgery to Harris Hosp. to have my port put in for my chemo. I'm so glad they are doing that! I dread getting I.V's. It will be a long day, but I will come home when I wake up good. Poor Ronnie! He is such a trooper, but as you all know, he doesn't do waiting at hospital very good! Again I say that God has blessed me, especially with such a wonderful husband. And by the way, we celebrated our 37th anniversary last week. I felt good enough to go out to eat at Lucilles!
Keep up your prayers for me and my family. I feel every one of them!
Love you all.

Words from Sherry

The following is a letter I received from my sister-in-law Sherry. She is awesome! I can't say anything better today than what she has said to me. I have already told you that I am listening for God's whispers. This letter is what I received this morning:

Whispers of God”

I started “Whispers of God” when I wrote to Joyce, my sister-in-Christ, who had been diagnosed with cancer. She had an operation and was waiting to recover from surgery only to start 16 weeks of chemotherapy.
I wrote to Joyce to give her testimony of God’s whispers to me when I was diagnosed with leukemia and ultimately had a bone marrow transplant that God used to heal. Today, there is no sign of leukemia.
I told her of the many times that I would feel afraid or insecure and how God would show up to gently whisper comfort and His presence in my life as only He could. These whispers were not something I was looking for but, a gift, a gift from God to let me know He was there and knew me intimately. He heard my cries and answered my prayers.
After writing and sending the letter to Joyce, I was up early one morning, reading my Bible. I was reading Psalm 107:23 – 32. This scripture read “He stilled the storm to a whisper”. My heart was in awe as I knew the Lord gave that scripture to me and I believed it was for Joyce. I researched a little further that day for scriptures that had the word “whisper” in it. He gave me the scripture I Kings 19:9. “And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.” Life application would say “Elijah knew that the sound of gentle whisper was God's voice. He realized that God doesn't reveal himself only in powerful, miraculous ways. To look for God only in something big may be to miss him because he is often found gently whispering in the quietness of a humbled heart.” I sent that to Joyce as well.
The day after I sent these scriptures to Joyce, my mother said that the Sunday sermon’s title was “The Day God Whispered”.
Today, after I prayed for forgiveness of sin and rebellion in my life. I was wondering how I could ever feel cleansed from all my sin and shame. I was reading Psalm 51. The Lord whispered. “Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow”. In Exodus, it tells of how “The Israelites were instructed to dip a branch of hyssop in lamb’s blood and sprinkle it on their door posts so that the angel of death would pass over their families (Exodus 12:22). My heart was in awe of his whisper. Just as he instructed the Israelites to sprinkle lamb’s blood over their door posts to save them, his whisper was saying to me… Jesus blood covers my sins. Thanks be to God for my Lord and Savior, the Holy Lamb of God, whose blood covers all my sins. Thank you God for your whispers.

The Wreck

This part of my journey begins on March 27,2008. I was leaving work at a little before 5:00 and was approaching the elementary school on Jackson Trail. As I got closer to the teacher parking lot, I noticed a convertible with the top down approaching the exit and not slowing down. And as I had feared, she pulled out right in front of me, not stopping but actually accelerating! I hit her broadside! Her car spun around and hit a tree. I pryed open my door and was afraid I was going to see a terribly injured person. She just had a few scratches on her and was able to climb out of the car. She immediately talked about how I was going to sue her and she was so sorry. In a panic, she had pushed on the accelerator instead of the brake! I assured her that I was not going to sue her, but was she injured? The next words out of her mouth were ones that I didn't want to hear: It wasn't her car; she didn't have a driver's license; she didn't have insurance; she wasn't wearing a seat belt and she had found out the day before that she was pregnant! I insisted that she get someone to take her to the emergency room. She did receive a couple of tickets. An examination at the e.r. showed that she had a concussion but the baby seemed okay. Tragically, I found out later that she did loose the baby a couple of weeks later.
I felt all over my body and didn't seem hurt. Unfortunately, our precious 14 year old truck did not fare so well. It was totalled. Luckily, we had uninsured motorist coverage with our insurance so this helped us find another vehicle - a cute little P.T. Cruiser. I went on for a couple of weeks before I noticed that I was having headaches and my left arm was beginning to hurt terribly bad and my pointer finger was going numb and tingling. Eventually, I went to my doctor, Kathy Brooks, and she sent me for an MRI and to a surgeon. Amy went with me to the surgeon and he confirmed that I had 2 bulging discs in my neck and would require fusion surgery and a metal plate put in my neck! Well, along with paying for my truck, my uninsured motorist covered my surgery and lost wages associated with it.
I did really well during the surgery and 9 week recuperation. The worst part was probably the neck brace that I had to wear! In preparation for the surgery , there is all the pre-op testing. Part of the tests is a chest x-ray. On the afternoon before surgery, the hospital called and told me that I might have to postpone my surgery because a mass was shown on my x-ray. I couldn't believe it. Kerri called Kathy Brooks and Kathy called the radiologist who read my x-ray. She told him that she would follow up with checking out the spot on my lung after I had the neck surgery - so I was able to go ahead with the surgery the next day. Kathy was my hero!
True to her word ( and mostly her concern for me) about a month into my recovery, she scheduled a CT scan of my chest. She went ahead and scheduled me to see a lung surgeon(Dr. Macias) and get the reports. Ronnie and I saw Dr. Macias on July 14th. He said that the ct scan showed something that needed further testing. He scheduled a PET/Ct scan which would show up any cancer in my body. I had this test done on July 16th. On July 23rd, Ronnie and I went to Dr. Macias office to hear either I had cancer or I didn't. Well, that's not what we found out. The test showed mild to moderate activity in the mass in my lung but was inconclusive as to whether it was a malignancy or not. More testing needed! This time I went for a biopsy on July 30th. The radiologist who did it was almost certain that it was not malignant but we needed to wait to get the report back from testing . I had made an appt. for Aug.14th to find out the results. But, to my surprise, the dr. office called and said the results were in and to come in on the 5th.
Kathy called and said she wanted to meet Ronnie and I at Dr. Macias office at 3:30. With the 3 of us in his office he said the dreaded words "I'm so sorry but we got the results back and you have adenocarcinoma - lung cancer!" We were stunned! He said that this kind grows pretty quickly in women so we needed to do surgery quickly. By the time I had breathing testing and all the pre-op done , surgery was done on Aug. 8th. I again did very well . They removed the lower left lobe and the surrounding lymph nodes and part of the upper lobe that the mass was touching. The results of the biopsy for this showed that it had spread to one lymph node but not into the blood vessel next to it. Because of the activity in the lymph node, I will have to undergo chemotherapy and possibly radiation. It is scheduled to start on Sept. 22nd and go for 16 weeks straight - one day a week.
I am not afraid because I feel God holding me in the palm of His hand. I do realize because of what Mother and Wendell went through, that it won't be a picnic, but I remain positive that I will make it through it all and come out a better person - because I know that I couldn't do it without God and without all of you praying for me!
God also blessed me with a wonderful husband. Ronnie has waited on me hand and foot for the last 3 weeks. I do realize that I am also blessed with a wonderful support team that would come anytime I asked.
I ask God daily to protect my precious children through all this because I know how hard it is on them.
I covet your prayers on my behalf and hope that when I'm called on to help someone, that I don't hesitate to do whatever I'm called to do.
I am listening for God's whispers!

God Works In Mysterious Ways

You know how you sit and wonder what changes are going to happen in your life within the next year? Well, a year ago I would not have thought that my future would hold three surgeries and a life-altering diagnosis. But "God knows the plans He has for us." (Jer. 29:11)

I have begun a journal of the things that have happened to me and decided that I would share it with those who know me and love me. (Besides, at my age, my memory is so bad that if I don't write it down somewhere, I will forget the details.) I also hope to use this as a way to keep everyone updated (in case I forget to call you).

Most of all, I want everyone that reads this to say a special prayer for me each time you log on because I know that prayers are powerful and effective.